I recently came across a quote that said: "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
I stayed up until past midnight to see both the new and the old year leave.
As my custom on this occasion, I sit quietly and evaluate through meditation a strict check list of my previous year performances before starting with a fresh list of new resolutions for the year to come.
I realize that actually I cannot complain. Being am a very determined person and most of the time, when I decide to accomplish something, no matter the effort involved, I work very hard to be successful on the goals have set to myself.
There is one small issue and that is beeing too hard on myself . Due to my extremely committed nature, the list of my goals and new years resolutions is always far tool long.
Looking at the stars in a snowy starless night I realize with clarity that the price I have payed to take my life to the " next level" was maybe not that worth.
I got extremely stressed during the journey, just because I have all year aimed at perfection.
Like ballet dancer Nina in the psychological thriller '' Black Swan" personified by actress Natalie Portman ( a perfectionist in real life as well), aiming at perfection resulted in fragmenting even more, my already tortured soul.
But then, the question is how will I transcend during this coming new year the burden of wanting to succeed in all areas in my life but still manage to stay unconditionally human?
Blinded by my deep quest, I search within the core of my essence answers that don' t want to reveal themselves yet clearly in front of me, but watching a flashback of the months that passed though, I have learned
that the destination is always important , but the journey, the process, the enduring alignment of consistent efforts that translate into small steps going forward, one after the other is what definitely makes us evolve to a better place.
But again, where is the better place? Have we all got in mind what we call a better place?
I decide I am ready to open a fresh page on my new diary next to stars and the candlelight of my bedroom side table.
Outside large snowflakes falling down like soft cotton balls take me away from reality. Riding of a gold and ivory Pegasus to a realm of dreams and visions I connect to the collective universal structure of my own my inner self.
And yes, I can perfectly design my new year to come.
Possibly reinvent myself as a whole new individual whose past victories and achievements are no longer important into this new realm of energy .
Dressed like a 1930 adventurous pilot, I imagine myself once again in a new glamorous method of air travel.
I look back at the year that just left me and look ahead into the new set of aspirations, inspirations and realm of new possibilities.
The idea of being able to choose my itinerary, direction and perspective empowers me tremendously and make me feel i am alive.
And here my list starts with a trip, a voyage, a turning point a journey .
This journey will be about discoveries of my new self, a self melted into new environments, new challenges, exquisite ways to break new frontiers and on going missions.
To seek out new ways of civilizations and new forms of living life within and out the inner boundaries of my learned behavior and pure instinct.
Yes , this is my first thought while I read on line legendary astrologer Susan Miller's predictions like in every passage of a new month.
The people I know whose signs that I recognize in my own 'movie" play one after the other a primordial role into the new set of predictions.
Amused I figure out what the stars have reserved for me , and if pleased with their hints I will use them as gifts to get great leverage into my designated path of intelligent choices.
And if I don't appreciate the directions the stars are heading me , I will use the prestigious Kabblistic concept that one soul can raise above the stars to meet with her destiny through free will and absolute certainty knowing about the maximum potential of the divine sparkle within her DNA and a bigger universal plan.
I wish to travel well dressed, in good taste and luxury, with furs and precious jewelry, but knowing how to pay the right price for every item I decide to own.
The price is the one that will allow me to understand that acquiring what I wish to consume will enlighten another human being's work of art, life devotion and satisfaction.
It will be though educated choice but practicing immediate detachment if indeed it might be the case,' cause after all nothing stays forever on this earth and the awareness about the impermanence of reality is a must if we are to understand that what we desire in the material world is only an illusion a pure translation of how in reality we wish to feel.
I want to feel that my life like Gandhi's is a message of integrity where what I feel, what I say and what I do are all the same.
And I want to be healthy, and if I can why not immortal because after all I can be all I am .
I just have to remember not to carry with me a heavy load in my luggage as heavy load will slow me down in the earthy struggle defying gravity.
But who cares after all? As long as I will not let judgment step on my plans and understand I must learn from my mistakes, universal mercy will never leave my sight.
So definitely ready at last, I am fastening my golden seat belt against all odds, and with my notebook filled of pretty thoughts and fresh resolutions I can now cross peacefully the new year 's door expecting finally safe at heart , the best of what life is yet to offer.